Philosopher's Corner

You Ate the Language You Use... Not The Other Way Round

by Kelly R Piercy

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.
- Marcus Aurelius

One of the keys to progress is to think progressively. One of the keys to contentment is to think contentedly.

In the frustration of suffering under unfair, immoral, and unethical circumstance it becomes difficult to remain positive. Being unable to think positively, to be unable to see an end to the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune' leads to the downward spiral of depression. Depression leads to immobilization. Immobilization leads to defeat.

Too often it is said, if life give you lemons, make lemonade. That is too near pie in the sky thinking for those who struggle against overwhelming odds.

Making good of something that is not good is too much like sugar coating a bitter fruit. The fact is, when adversity strikes, nothing is accomplished by pretending it is not as bad as it looks.

What is adversity? In terms of the circumstance of the registry, adversity is loss of respect, loss of basic human dignity, loss of material wealth, i.e. a decent home, a decent job, the association of friends.

Some of those are real losses, home, work, freedom of association and travel are all real losses. The lost of friends is somewhat more complex. If a friend is lost because of the past, then that was not a friend. If the respect for a system, justice, or a society, America, is lost, because of the way the justice system or American society treats, then nothing is lost except by the system or society.

The truest and greatest loss suffered because of the registry is loss of self.

It has been said that 85% of the information received in life is negative. That begins with the sign at the crosswalk, “Don't Walk', and goes all the way back to the Decalogue (read it, 8 out of 10 are 'thou shall not' and half of one of the other two is a negative by inference.) (Compare that to what Christ said were the greatest commandments, he managed two and both were positives.)

Take a person's job, home, the freedom to relate openly with others. What will result is depression at some level. Then ask that person to resist that depression without any hope for relief. It is not reasonable to expect them to overcome the depression.

Too many of those who attempt to organize this resistance know too well the plea, “Can you help me?” The fact is, until everyone begins to help themselves, those too few organizers and advocates can do little to effect change.

The first step to answering adversity is to control how adversity is perceived. The first step to that perception is to control the language of the perception.

85% of the information received is negative. Over 90% of information is 'self talk'. Run the numbers, that means that it is possible to turn the 85% negative information into 42.5% negative and 57.5% neutral to positive information.

How many times a day do you answer pain or mistake, a stubbed toe or dropped dish, with an explicative or its equivalent? The next time you stub your toe, instead of becoming angry with the inanimate object you stubbed your toe on and directing some harsh language at it, try this simple result changing method.

1. Recognize that it hurt.
2. Recognize that it is not the end of the world.
3. Express the fact that it hurt. (“Ouch, that really hurt.”)
4. Move on and commit to not doing it again.

Succeed at that and then take it a step further. The next time the registry confounds you, recognize that it is confounding, hold your head up and move on to change it.

Stop making lemonade and explicative, start accepting that the registry is wrong and tell people, everyone, not just your family, that it is wrong. Do not think of yourself as some sort of damaged goods, do not accept the label society has put upon you. Tell yourself that you are worthy and deserving of the same dignity any other human being deserves and demand it in your thoughts, attitude, and behavior.

Marcus Aurelius is absolute in his wisdom. Indeed, your thoughts, the way you speak to yourself and the way you communicate will be how you are perceived and how you will perceive yourself. Change that perception and others will have no choice but to accept that perception. To accept that perception, they must then accept the truth you tell them and change their perception or their world view. Then you will have changed the world.